deep breaths


M is pretty sick right now. Borderline driving to the emergency room sick.

She had walking pneumonia a few weeks ago, got better (or so we thought) and came crashing down today. Her breathing is so labored, I was almost in tears letting the nurse listen to her over the phone before finally collectively deciding we can wait till our appointment first thing in the AM, but only if it doesn't get worse. If it gets worse, we head to the ER.

It's one of those nights where you walk on eggshells, checking on her over and over, sleeping in her room on the floor in shifts.
It's one of those nights where you realize you've taken every healthy day for granted, and how you have no real idea of what it is like to worry for your child. While intellectually I know she'll be fine, it's still one of those nights and it won't stop till I know she's better.

So instead I take a moment to pour a glass of red and turn to all of you, and share a picture of her with lungs strong enough to blow bubbles.

It's one of those nights where everything feels a bit scary, when I realize how small we all are, how I am completely wrecked by love for my child, and yet how powerless I can feel if something is wrong.