Thursday, January 11, 2007

the one with the psychic

I had a friend years ago who was big on telephone psychics. She had one or two she swore by and after hearing about the readings my curiosity was finally peaked into motion. After some persuasion she convinced me to call and set up an appointment.

I was straddling the fence between cynicism and plain old crock of shitishness. Since I was raised in a strict christian home (otherwise known as Religious Persecution Disorder - which should be in the DSM in my opinion) so I was also somewhat convinced in some deep and lurking in my mind that I'd be opening my soul to the devil.

But curiosity won out. Devil one, me, zero. Or more accurately, Devil 14,952, me, zero. So I paid my $60 bucks and made an arrangement to call Joy (what the hell kind of fake psychic name is that) and at the established date and time, gave her a call.

At first it was the blah blahs...you are successful in your job (yawn) and you are a strong willed person (boring) and then she went over into you will meet a man (ears perking up a bit) and went on to describe him. Brown hair, red gold flecks in his beard.

She mentioned a shift in passion and focus in my work, and to be honest, over the years, she's turned out to be right, but at the time, again, yawn, whatever, I dig my gig, Psychic Joy, so am blah blah blahing you some more.

But then she The Thing. She said that a little spirit was waiting to be born. That she (yes, SHE) had tried to come into my world once already and I wasn't ready and didn't allow for it. And that she'd try again when I still might not feel ready, but that she was going to be more powerful the next time around. And that she's waiting, and watching, and she knows exactly when she's going to manifest herself. And that when she did, she would be mine. That obviously, I'd be sharing her with her father, but that her destiny this time around was to be my child. And that we had great things to teach each other.

I shuddered and coughed and my 29 year old single self was clearly, um, thanks, oh, and No Way, Because I Am Never Having Babies. Thank You Very Much. And then I forgot all about it and went back to martinis, dating, repeat. It was a few years before I met J. Brown hair, red gold flecks in his beard.

Five years later I got pregnant when I was on the pill. I wasn't ready. I didn't even know if I wanted to be a mom. But when it happened, I vaguely remembered this conversation and I dug out the tape recording she'd sent me of our session and listened to it.

And then I knew. This Was The Thing.

And Psychic Joy was right, this girl is mine. She and her dad have a glorious relationship, but she and I, we are mother and daughter. She is the lining of my heart. And she chose me. I'll believe that whether it's a crock of shitishness or not, because I like it and Psychic Joy said so.

I've never spoken to another psychic. I have intuitive friends, I've explored tarot, ruins, and some other mediums - numerology is next, as a matter of fact, due to the kindness of a friend.
But I'll never call a psychic again.

Because if it's not broken....play it as it lays, girl. Play it as it lays.

34 comments:

Juliness said...

That was beautiful, sister! She did choose you and you chose her and that's what it's all about.

Perhaps because you felt 'not ready' it made/makes you a better mom. It sounds as if you are very much in tune with the things and people in your world which makes for lovely and inspiring reading.

Although that part about RPD made me involuntarily bite my inner cheek. I think we grew up in the same house...where things like playing cards (because people gambled with them) were also going to open you up to the claws of evil. Much like those demon martinis.

acumamakiki said...

Amen sister! That mother-daughter bond is tremendous and I thank the powers that be EVERY DAY for bringing me my girl. Because like you, I so wasn't having any babies, babies were for other people and then when we decided let's see if we can and we could, we've never looked back.

I've always been a bit creeped out by pyschics, medical intuitives and the like....I don't want anyone peering into my soul, my answers....those are for me to discover.

Lucia said...

What a wonderful post! I have things to say...but my mind is blurry this morning.

De Aufiero said...

Wow. Thanks for sharing this incredible story. I agree with you, let it lay. I was asked to join some friends for a reading when I was pg with L and told them, NO WAY, not until he's born.

Thailand Gal said...

Most of them are full of crap. I've seen quite a few of them over the years but none have ever been so accurate as those I met by chance. Everyone has the "gift" to one degree or anotehr and my BS meter goes wild, once they start talking about money. How can one charge for a gift they receive through no effort of their own? It's not a skill. It's a gift.

My sorng baht. You're fortunate to have met a good one.

I absolutely believe that M. chose you. She chose you because she knew exactly what she would need to fulfill her contract this time around. She knew and agreed to those lessons. You will teach her.. but she will also teach you.

Play it as it lays. Hm. I envy you. I am simply not much of a risk-taker and prefer diligent planning and as much foreknowledge as possible. I am not a trusting soul by nature. :)

Don't even get me started on western religion. I'll unintentionally fill up your comment section with my ranting. Ugh!


Peace,

~Chani

deb said...

I believe our children choose us, your daughter chose you and mine chose me. There is a reason behind it, we just don't know what it is yet. I'm glad you have your baby girl.

Hel said...

Wow! "She is the lining of my heart." caused a lump in my throat and a shiffer down my spine

venessa said...

Beautiful!

I would have been happy to have boys but secretly, I am so happy to have three daughters. Shhh...

KC said...

Relgious Persecution Disorder. I love it. Maybe this should be a Medical Advice Monday.

the pyschic sounds scarily accurate. I agree--I don't think I want to know what's up ahead. Even if it's going to be utterly fabulous. I'll take surprise "Joy" anyday.

QT said...

So glad you and M are together, whatever the reasons. Psychics freak me out, my mom goes to a Native American woman and she has predicted several things, like the # of miscarriages my sister would have and the subsequent birth order/sex of her kids -all years before it happened.

After I left me ex, my mom told me that the psychic had predicted that too. She said "A man your daughter seeks for safety will ultimately be the least safe person for her."

I have goosebumps now!

Penny said...

My home wasn't fundamentally religious, but I was warned to stay away from soothsayers.. with good reason. That's another post, though, I'm sure.

Psychics can transmit, but where are they receiving their information and in what time, reference, realm and for what motivation and when does their prediction become true, before or after it happens and why do things happen, because you are lead or because you lead and who is leading who...

Stay away, is my advice.

The Atavist said...

I predict that I will be back to read many more posts on this blog. My prognostications are seldom wrong.

Now, send me money. Lots of money.

ewe are here said...

She is the lining of your heart. Sniff. Such a sweet way to describe it.

radioactive girl said...

My twins tell me before they were born, they were waiting for just the right mom. When they saw me, they knew I was the one, so they chose me. Makes me cry ever time they tell me. Your story made me cry as well (in a good way).

mamatulip said...

What a great story. God, am I ever glad I found your blog.

I got unexpectedly pregnant with Julia. My mom had died less than two months before that and we were in the throwes of renovating the house she'd left me. Nothing squishes the ol' libido like watching a parent die and I was SHOCKED when we found out I was pregnant. It was the worst time for me to have a baby.

Not so...not so. It was the best time. Julia is The Best Thing that could have happened to me at that time in my life.

She is my "The Thing".

I so get you. :)

Pattie said...

Laughing at the atavist's comment...

I never thought of children "choosing" their parents before. It is such an intriguing thought.

I went to a psychic once for fun with a friend. She told me things that made my toes curl. She was dead on about stuff she couldn't possibly have known. I'll never go back.

nomotherearth said...

Beautiful! I've always been afraid of calling psychics (although I'm intensely curious), because I don't want to hear about bad things. Your post made me wish I had.

meno said...

$60?? I'm starting a new business! One i can do in my pajamas.

Bob said...

my wife has "feelings" about things. Things that happen.

it's chilling. 'cause I fall into the crock of shit category. and now I don't know.

she doesn't make a big deal of it, she doesn't do it (or get them) for other people, just her family (us).

cinnamon gurl said...

Wow!! That is totally how I imagine babies coming into being...

I remember once someone who claimed to be a Wiccan high priest wanted to do something in my parents house. I had thought I was all cool with it, until we got to my parents' place and I just felt overwhelmingly that it was wrong. That bad things would follow.

Play it as it lays... never heard that before, but what a great line.

Lillithmother said...

What a wonderful story to sare with M when she's older Jen! I have a similar one...I'll write about it sometime too!

Lil xo

carrie said...

I think I felt the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up while reading this.

Amazing. Scary, a little (but not in a devil sorta way) but mostly just amazing.

I don't think I'd see another psychic either.

Carrie

Ruth Dynamite said...

I so want to believe this stuff. I watched an interview with a famous psychic guy (his name's escaping me at the moment...John...had his own tv show...) - anyhoo, he really seems to know. And part of me really wants to know too.

I love this beautiful premonition.

Mrs. Chicky said...

That was lovely. Psychic or not, the mother/daughter bond trumps all.

Laurie said...

I am absolutely certain that my son chose me. No doubt at all, and as you said (s)he is the lining of my heart.

Momish said...

Oh, I had chills reading that! My grandmom was psychic (she read cards and all) and was Catholic, so I have always had an inkling to believe without the fears.

I went to a tarot card reader this one time and she didn't even read my cards. She just told me that she had a message for my mother from my father (who had died - never told her that). My mother never called or contacted her. Although, if I was in her shoes, I don't know what I would have done.

Made me believe in it even more though.

flutter said...

of all the beauty that you have written...this made me cry like no other. Of course she chose you.

crazymumma said...

spooky.

she waited until you were ready for her power. and against all odds, (the pill) she came, because hell and damn, it was time !

I like that story.

you da mom! said...

*Goosebumps*

I am scared of psychics because what if I hear something I don't want to know? But that is a beautiful story and an interesting way to look at the birth of children...as spirits waiting to come into our lives.

*Wow*

Tabba said...

Jen, I am in tears..yet again. You're balm girl, balm. I come here and take....everyday. And barely give. Today, of all days, I came here after receiving a huge, kick in the gut. And being here, reading your words soothes me. Your post had nothing at all to do with my circumstances today, but it soothed me.
I also can relate to certain parts of your post & have wanted to write them. But fear it, as it a very controversial topic.
Thanks. Just thanks. This comment sounds psycho and crazy. So, I'll stop.
What a wonderful post.
Love, love, love it.

Hulai said...

pretty cool! your right too, if it aint broke dont fix it!

ECR said...

I often think about mine that weren't allowed and how they will show up again.

ecm said...

Beautiful, beautiful post! I've never been one for psychics, but that story actually has me feeling much less cynical. It's also so interesting to see a promise realized so many years later. Great post.

urban-urchin said...

"She is the lining of my heart." Perfectly put.

There is a bit in one of the Narnia books where the girls are given the ability to hear what others are saying about them- to "know" things and it makes them miserable. Sort of the same thing I reckon.