splitting pairs

I've spoken before about M's inclination of all things mommy. Mommy, mommy, mommy, she chants while eating, while playing, almost every single sentence begins with Mommy. Mommy-daddy is how she addresses J most of the time. I am center stage every waking minute. It's just how it is.

I've got the mojo, friends. Touch me, I'm golden.

This has been long coupled with Mommy Do It. Others of you have occasionally spoken of this. I know I am not alone in having a child who only wants their mother to do any and everything. It's caused some strain but for the most part, we roll.

Perhaps we were rolling along a little too well for her two year old brain to manage, because this weekend, along with my previous post of minor woeful musings, brought this little morsel:

I no love daddy. I only love mommy.

We were at the grocery store this afternoon and M and I were traipsing (she rolls, I traipse) through the aisles when all of a sudden she says I no love daddy. I only love mommy.

Baby, I say, why would you say that? She was rather cheeky, words drawn out, a smile that could break glass. She wasn't upset, but rather working an angle (is that bad to say about my kid, because I swear, she was).

So I said honey, do you know it's okay to love us both? You don't have to choose, you can love us both and it only means there is more love. M started in on another topic so I let it go.

But when we got home she went up to J and said Me no love you daddy. Me only love mommy.

Ouch. I glance at J, and watch his face fall. He's been a trooper these past months; all the mommyness has been wearing on us both. It's worth noting that since we both work, we both take fairly equal responsibility at home; there isn't a lot of one doing more than the other. But M has made equality difficult lately, hysterics abound if we are both home and I am not the one to do her bidding.

He said, baby, I love you and you love me. It's okay if you don't feel it right now. I love you no matter what.

But I know it hurts. And while I want to respect her process, I don't want to reinforce this behavior, because frankly, it's kind of shitty. I did offer to go to the beach for a week and let them get on without me in the picture, but no one (besides me) seemed to think that was a good idea. I still think if that's the best idea we can come up with, I'll take one for the team.

Because I'm sacrificial like that.