Sunday, September 30, 2007

retreat

We took a weekend away. Nowhere far but alone just the same. We called in reinforcements and stole away to a nearby hotel and taken some time to rejuvenate. To fill the near empty well.

We've done precious little aside from playing cards and watching movies, eating out and sitting and talking. J agreed to the retreat after witnessing the events of the past week, the near breaking of my sanity. We've been quiet this weekend, but not too quiet. Quiet in the best sort of way. J has long had a saying that we are the guardians of each other's solitude, that by allowing for space alone and together we allow the other to do what they need to, because being in relationship, and a good one at that, doesn't mean that the other person can always fix or repair. That process comes from within.

So we took that time this weekend and as I sit this morning, a belly full of hotel breakfast I realize how fortunate I am to have this quiet. This mental and physical retreat. And while it hasn't fixed all that weighs on me it's certainly gone a long way to help.

And we aren't done yet. Today we'll go see a movie and tonight I am indulging in some quiet time alone. It's amazing how restorative this can be and how rare of an occurrence it actually is. And then I wonder how others do it, those of you who work just as long and hard, how it is you find your breathing space amidst the noise.

43 comments:

Blog Antagonist said...

Husband and I did a similar thing this weekend. We don't do it nearly enough because we don't have any reinforcements. I use a lot of spiritual lipstick in my daily life. Little things that pick me up and make me feel good. It's the only way for me to get through.

I hope you feel a little better after your respite. You deserve it more than anybody I know.

Kyla said...

Sounds wonderful. We haven't had an overnight alone since Valentine's 2003. We make due, though, best we can. We give each other time away and steal moments together as we can. It is amazing how far it can go. I'm glad J is taking good care of you. You need it right now.

crazymumma said...

I've been waiting to see what you would do this weekend.

I hope that this peaceful time gives you the strength to wade back in.

Love you honey. J is a wise man.

ewe are here said...

Your partner sounds wonderfully supportive; I'm glad he's there for you.

I hope you find enough quiet time.

blooming desertpea said...

We do the same - just quite, peaceful Sundays ...

Amy York said...

Sounds wonderful... Hope it was just what you needed!! Hang in there...

Jonathon Morgan said...

weekends like that are so needed. glad to hear it was relaxing!

christina said...

sounds wonderful. Wish I was there.
If I have to sing "I'm a little tea pot" one more time today ...grrrr...

Beck said...

That's a very good idea - my husband and I are long overdue for some time together.

slouching mom said...

i am so so glad you are doing that.

Janet said...

It's been more than two years since we have had the coveted Extended Couple Away time together. The more kids you have, the harder it seems to be. We try to book a babysitter here and there, to get out for quiet dinners. Other than that, we steal moments together wherever we can.

I find it easier to get little breaks for myself. Every day, when Elyse naps, I give myself permission to do at least one thing that I want to do. Right now, my hubby and kids are at a family function that I couldn't go to, so I am reading blogs, eating pink M & M's, and thoroughly enjoying the quiet!

painted maypole said...

"guardians of each other's solitude"

love that. so glad you got some time to refill that well. No.. it doesn't fix everything, but you've got to regain your strength to get back into the fray.

Did you see any GOOD movies? ;) (I miss going to the movies!)

Oh, The Joys said...

Oh, phew! I know you so needed and deserved that.

I hope the axe fell gently...

Thinking of you.

J

flutter said...

Nothing better than being in love with the guardian of your solitude.

My heart is with you and know that I am willing for the quickest run over these hot coals.

PunditMom said...

Enjoy! Or at least let your mind relax.

bubandpie said...

Hotel breakfast really is the best therapy.

Mrs. Chicken said...

hoping the restorative power lingers well into the week...

Mrs. Chicky said...

You've got a darn good man there. And not just because he's a member of Red Sox Nation.

Hope the end of your weekend was as perfect as the beginning.

liv said...

I'm so glad that you have given yourself the chance to decompress and regroup. You are wise beyond words to know when you need a lift, and to give it to yourself. I am so happy that you carved out some rest for yourself. xoxo

Anjali said...

So glad you had the time. I hope the storm blows over soon.

ms chica said...

The quiet time alone is indeed a privilege, and one I've been spoiled with more than most people. Silence grounds me. your post helps me cherish the luxury. Enjoy a little peace for yourself.

Ally said...

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that you got this time away, to retreat and collect your thoughts and do some healing.

Casdok said...

Guardians of each others solitude. How wonderful.

kiki said...

quiet time alone to breathe and marinate is the best type of healing. i'm glad you had this time this weekend honey. you've been in my thoughts. much love. xoxo

QT said...

I am glad you are getting what you need, and most importantly, deserve.

Thinking of you, friend.

Mad Hatter said...

A) J is a good man
B) All of us work long and hard. Few give of themselves the way you do. My job and my life do not come with the kinds of demands that yours does.

Christine said...

i am just catching up here, and it sure seems like you deserve this break. this retreat.

it feeds the soul, love.

mitzh said...

You deserve it...

Those alone and quiet times are the most precious gift one can give to one's soul.

And having someone who knows that, is truly a blessing.

Take care!

kgirl said...

good on ya. i'm glad you took a break. it sounds absolutely wonderful.

Lawyer Mama said...

J is a good guy. It sounds heavenly and I'm glad you're getting some space and time to heal. I worry about you, my friend.

meno said...

I'm glad you found some peace. Try to hang on to some of it for a long time.

Susanne said...

I can't really add something new to what the others before me said.

I often wonder how others do it because I am very fortunate to have the chance for quiet time alone or with my husband every single day.

On the other hand I think we would make that time even if circumstances were less fortunate.

mamatulip said...

I went to a friend's cottage this weekend, by myself, for the first time since I had Julia. I can't even remember the last time I went anywhere by myself for longer than a few hours. It was really amazing.

I'm glad that you had some quiet time this weekend -- quiet, but not too quiet. ;)

nomotherearth said...

We try and give each other breaks selflessly. What we have a hard time doing is finding a break together. Glad you did.

Jennifer said...

Remembering to breathe is enough, sometimes. Deep breaths, in and out. It's not always enough, but it helps.

I'm glad you had the quiet breathing space you needed this weekend.

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

Sounds to me that you are on your way to healing that which ails you. I am sorry work is lousy for you. Sigh, why can't all just retire?

Wayfarer Scientista said...

Long, long walks with the dog, anywhere I happen to be, just him and I does wonders for me. I've been taking a lot of them lately. Last Wednesday our usual half hour evening walk turned into 4 hours.

I'm glad you are taking care of yourself, I'm glad J enables you to do so.

KC said...

Your weekend sounds so lovely and so needed. So glad you had a chance to steal away and repair a little.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like a much needed weekend- glad you were able to get some peace.

urban urchin

bgirl said...

i'm exhaling with you...
i wish you well as you find your way back to the balance you need.

J sounds simply wonderful, you are both so lucky to share what you do.

cinnamon gurl said...

Glad you got the break you needed. Sounds like heaven.

And that guy from the previous post, what an asshole! Those kind of people make me furious too.

Redsy (formerly CrankMama) said...

"guardians of each other's solitude" that's so beautiful... sounds like you have a wonderful relationship

Momish said...

I wish I was there. Well, not actually there with you and J breathing down your necks, but like there as in away.

It is not only nice, but necessary every now and then! I am glad you made the time to regroup and connect.