Friday, September 14, 2007

three and holding

One week into Three and already I am noticing the changes. M is more emotional, more easily (as in rapid fire no wasted breath collapsing on the floor in agony of the smallest things) upset, a bit clingier to me in particular.

I want to navigate this well, with the grace of angels so to speak but it's a conundrum, a newness that hasn't quite settled in and on top of it is an unwelcome guest with muddy shoes and dirty laundry.

My brother is in town and as he attempted to play with her she threw a fit and pushed him and yelled. I immediately stopped her and told her I needed her to go to her room because you know, that really sucked. She lost her wee little mind, raging hysterics on the floor. I held my ground and sent her packing and she finally and devastatingly went into her room where she screamed rageful screams, a scream of a much older child complete with the hitting of some walls who'd most certainly never done a thing to her save keep her warm and dry. J and my brother and I all looked at each other and sat in stupor wondering which pod she'd she'd hatched out of and how we send her back. And my brother, in his usual brother way finished his beer and turned back to his book and muttered thank christ i've never decided to breed.

Three rocks, dudes. Now past the scotch.

But it's not all bad, three brings learning and other little marches towards brilliance. Like learning how to speak Spanish. Check out my review and learn all about it.

55 comments:

mitzh said...

Oh yes and it gets tougher each year. Yet, I still hope that it will be better, but then again those are just moments.

And having a child is really a gift with all its magic and challenges.

Z said...

It's impossible to reason with a child when she gets like that. At least you were at home...

Hel said...

Waaaaaah. I want to have that beer with you.

Sober Briquette said...

It's all so familiar. Especially the parents' scratching their heads.

Yesterday there was a little boy in a restaurant, and his mom and granddad were singing happy birthday to him ("for practice") and he was screaming bloody murder. Crazy.

kiki said...

Two wasn't terrible but three, man it taught me what to expect with temper tantrums, anger and a very sensitive little girl.
In the past 3 years, spirits have become a close friend. (= xo

Blog Antagonist said...

At some point, those sweet, maleable little beings realize that they are autonomous and able to bend the world to their will. That is a sad, sad day.

Three was bad, but thirteen? Dude. I don't know if he'll make it to 14.

Gwen said...

Oh, yes, the threes. Why don't the books ever tell you about the threes? I would tell you get better, but my own impressive home wrecker is well into her fours and still, we are struggling. Good thing they're so darn gorgeous (because, yes, looks really are everything).

Gwen said...

"I would tell you get better"--The fuh? I would also tell you that I can write sentences that make sense, but then you'd know I was a liar.

Kyla said...

Three is just (terrible) two with attitude.

You'll do fine, friend. Even on days like this, there is so much beauty in these little people. After a glass of scotch you'll be sure to see it. LOL.

Oh, we're still seeing glimpses of Three at age Five, usually in the form of the banshee whirlwind scream you made reference to. Joy!

Momish said...

Sometimes I don't think my daughter or I will make it to three. We are still finding our way around the murky waters of two. I don't envy you and yet I do. Hang in there. That goes out to you and M!

P.S. Conundrum is one of my favorite words and I just love that you used it in this post!

crazymumma said...

A the little warrior in training is testing out some new moves is she?

Y'ain't seen nuthin' yet.

I'll be here with the single malt any old time for you.

Lawyer Mama said...

Oh man, babe. I hear ya. Hollis is 2 days away from 3 and it's gotten NOTICEABLY worse in the last month. And so much more violent. I was just shocked thinking I had some sort of tiny psychopath on my hands. Thankfully, everyone tells me this is normal. Normal? Dude. I didn't sign up for this.

Pass the scotch over here when you're done!

mayberry said...

I did not care for three. Not at all. Four and five = much better. And, oh look! in six months I'll have another go-round with three. Can't wait.

Mad Hatter said...

Isn't that why they invented Scotch? Three-year old Picts and Celts running about lifting their kilts and wreaking no end of havoc. Hey, they made the Roman Empire decline. What chance do you possibly have of surviving? Drink up, m'dear. Drink up.

Her Grace said...

Three was a lot harder for me than two, also. And my younger daughter, who is currently two, is also a breeze. It does get better, I promise. But when you're in the middle of it, it's tough. I remember sitting outside my older daughter's bedroom door, her inside screaming, me outside bawling.

But then four comes along, and you're like, "Well, WHO is this delightful child?" And three is forgotten. I promise :).

BOSSY said...

Bossy can relate - soon she herself will be entering the Terrible 42s.

Persephone said...

Sometimes, I look at my niece during an epic meltdown and I'm kind of impressed. I wish I could muster that much passion about anything.

Scotch is proof that God still loves us.

biodtl said...

I've always believed that anyone who talks about the "Terrible Twos" has never had a three year old. My girl is nearing four and in place of fall-on-the-floor tantrums has recently taken to running from the room and throwing herself on her bed in most dramatic fashion. With tears. And wails. And did I mention drama?

Orangeblossoms said...

Oy! When my little ones entered my life the eldest was three. He was all crazy and rage filled after his mumma and daddy's divorce-- too much change! He screamed like a banshee and bit like a rabid dog. I'm telling you I had to go to urgent care three times that year to be prescribed antibiotics for kid bites. One bite was so bad we thought I'd have to have surgery. I haven't been bitten in two years..... thanks be.... But I understand the mysterious tantrums and the incredibly difficult emotional toll of managing such behavior. We are lucky to have moved through three-- though we're moving into it again with the next one! Mercy!

Beck said...

Eh, I LOVE three. Three is great. A bit tantrumy but I now am able to just totally ignore those, to gracefully step over some furious little kicker on my floor while I make supper because what the heck: they're just a little kid. They'll get over it. Give her extra hugs when she calms down.

Karen said...

They are so needy and neurotic at there and do it again at 7, but we had some peace in the intervening years - now we are waiting for more neurosis at 13, while enjoying the full on comedy meltdown routine that our next 3 give us. Humor, scotch and, as Beck said, stepping right over it is a good course to get you through.

Oh, The Joys said...

Thank God I'm not alone.

Trenting said...

3 was.. Umm... fun-ish, but 14.. Yeah.. now that's the one you'll love the most...


I'm joking.. you'll hate every minute of it..

Tabba said...

Hang in. Seriously. Hang in.
I know you will.

And in all seriousness, it's all about the illusion of control.

All of us joke at the preschool about how everyone scoffs and grimaces when you talk about 2 year olds.
But really.....the 3's are the worst.
They're so....so...inbetween.

If it's any consolation, Gracie hit 3 just a mere month and a half back and we saw those same changes occur.
Rally around her. She'll need the extra lovin'.
And keep liquor handy.
You'll need it.

Janet said...

The Three's with Hailey were terrible around here. Followed, of course, by the Fearsome Fours and the What the F*ck Fives.

My Hailey is a little intense. I'm glad she was my second because I was much better at ignoring it (see Beck's comment, above).

And Six? I don't have a name for it, yet, but it is much, much better. Maybe the "I Don't Need Scotch Sixes? I'll work on it.

Ally said...

Oh, three, how we hate thee! I don't know anything about the two's being terrible, but I'll tell you I down right hate three. Sigh. My condolences to you.

But I have to say, I laughed out loud on this line: "...complete with the hitting of some walls who'd most certainly never done a thing to her save keep her warm and dry..."

Julie Pippert said...

Three.

I think I did say God help you in the birthday post, yes?

Hon, getting biggers means everythign gets bigger and more complicated, but oh my stars these little ones lack the means to understand and explain.

You'll help her weather it. You'll let her know she's loved, period, but this is not okay and here's words to express herself. You'll help her find her actualization and her voice.

And babe, while you do?

May I remind you of "that frozen concoction that helps me hang on."

Oh the boundary testing.

Just know you are in good company.

Julie
Using My Words

PunditMom said...

Ah, yes -- I remember 3. Sounds like M is doing her imitation of PunditGirl at that age -- how did she know?

Jennifer said...

Oh, three. Not such a fan of three.

(But four is good!)

bgirl said...

laughing hysterically.
love the "pod" comment.

hang tough and keep the fridge stocked!

J Fife said...

Oh, Jen. I'm right there with you. Weird thing is my little three year old transformed into a complete angel for the past two weeks. This scares me more than the raging.

I'm sticking with vodka. It's harder to detect on the breath.

liv said...

You've heard of Torrential 3? Yep. That's it. Peep is getting into the 2 thing and that's not nearly as unpleasant as I remember it with D, but it is what it is. Good luck, hon.

carrie said...

You're passing that bottle my way too, right? I have 1.5 months left of three. I can't wait for it to be over.

KC said...

Um...we haven't reached the scream-in-rage stage but I fear it is fast approaching. I just went to a Back to School night at Jolie's school and they gave this advice about temper tantrums: kids won't hurt themselves crying/screaming, just make sure they're somewhere safe and don't engage them. They're capable of getting themselves out of them. Afterwards, they won't even remember why they got so worked up so just move on.

I'm scared.

alejna said...

Oof. Can I cover my ears and be blissfully ignorant for a while? I have a good year and a half before the little one hits 3. (Though we already see signs of a temper. Oof.)

Marymurtz said...

Three was WAYYYY worse than two. Three was like a scary glimpse into the teenage future. :::shudder:::

And Her Grace is right: it was literally hours into the age of four when we were awash with delight at the changes in our daughter.

Just ride it out, sister. And keep the scotch handy.

Pgoodness said...

Amazing how the birthday causes the immediate change, isn't it? As if something just clicks in there little heads. Here's the best news I can offer you: the same way that 3 turned crazy, tantrum, and scream-filled? Four turns into more talking, silliness, more control all around. And for me, it happened about a month before he turned 4, so get out your calendar and count it down, friend! :-) I can't believe people every complained about two - two was a dream compared to 3!!

Aliki2006 said...

I love three, but it's a tricky year. Still, once they pass three and head into four they slip away into bigger kids, so I've learned to fiercely hold onto every minute of three--even the rocky moments.

meno said...

Oh yes, three.

That year of knowing that the world and she were not the same thing.

Most upsetting, that.

Courage.

flutter said...

((wraps you up in a hug))

mamatulip said...

Ah, yes. I've had those days too. Good times. (not)

Mrs. Chicky said...

We get days like that now, and Chicky's not quite 2 and a half. According to this, three should be a joy.

Hold me.

The Chick said...

I have had so many moms tell me that this is the nature of girls and it starts about this age. Luckily, I've often heard it does get better....at least until they become teenagers.

Magpie said...

Approaching 4 here and if anything the tempers get worse. I'm convinced that it's a lack of sleep, but that doesn't mean that I've had any success in getting her to sleep earlier.

Bon said...

i was looking for that thar pod just this morning...and mine is only sixteen months.

i shudder.

perhaps if i start into the scotch NOW...by the time we hit three all will be numb?

luckyzmom said...

This too shall pass!?. Sorry that I chuckled. I recently read another post on this same subject and it seemed an awful lot of you are experiencing this.

painted maypole said...

two twos my foot. it's the 3s that will get you every time. :) Good luck!

Jocelyn said...

Having had both a girl and a boy, I gotta admit the girls do it better--it's all practice and ramping up for adolescence. For boys, there are hormones, but there are also skateboards and trading cards. For girls, the body continues to be thrown on the floor and the irrational rages, sorry to say, become more and more mommy-focused. When she's 14, it'll be all your fault, no matter what's happened.

Damn. That didn't help you one bit. What I meant to type was this: her strength of will and innate spunk will stand her in good stead in future years, when little girls get mean and nasty as pack of little girls do. Your M will have fortitude and be unflapped by them.

There. That was almost better.

Esereth said...

oh I am way too late to comment on this blog....

Pgoodness said...

(excuse my horrid typos in my comment - apparently I was asleep at the keyboard)

Amy York said...

Three's tough! They are smart lil fellers ... trying to be independent yet still holding on to the baby they once were. It's a transitional phase like no other!
Cheers! :)

Wayfarer Scientista said...

A beer for you, fresh homemade pear beer....just for you.

QT said...

Wow, woman, things got exciting around here in my absence! Perhaps we need to run off and join a motorcycle gang together???

NotSoSage said...

Oh god. Any way we can freeze them in those pods until they hit 25?

Susanne said...

I have none of those "your child at three"-books where they say that there's a turn about every six months. First there is the growing with the accompanying pain (for the whole family!), and then there is a bit of quiet again.

I found this to be true with my son. in a way. Right now we're back to quiet and that's so fabulous. Sometimes it helps to remember that it is the children's job to challenge us and themselves.