Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The Bloggess is totally stalking me

I don't know if you happened to notice her comments on my post yesterday but I think it's time to let you all know that Jenny The Bloggess is stalking me. You may have heard of her but it's hard to say given how obscure her little site is. What, she blogs for a couple other big time publications? Bloggessed is in the Urban Dictionary? She can't be stalking me because she's already stalking that Kawasaki guy? Pfffft. She's crafty, that Jenny. I see she's got you all fooled.

Let me give you the facts and then you can decide:
1. My name is Jen. She calls herself "Jenny". Hmmm.
2. I have a daughter. Now all of a sudden, she has a daughter. And she's ridiculously cute. Everyone knows kids that look like that don't really exist.
3. I went to Blogher last year. I turn around and SHE'S at Blogher last year too.
4. I'm going to Blogher this year. Now SHE'S going to Blogher this year too.
5. She's suddenly started posting at MOMocrats and calling herself a pundeet.
6. I have a blog, she has a blog.
7. Again, my name is Jen. She's going by "Jenny".

Everywhere I turn, she's right there. I put a post on my blog, she puts a post on her blog. I link her to the last few posts, she comes over and comments on them. Uh, wait. Forget that last one.

I'm afraid to open my blinds for fear she'll be right outside in her snappy little heels and photographic memory. If only I knew how to code those little blog buttons, I'd make one that says "I'm being stalked by The Bloggess and you're not" but thankfully I don't know how to code those little blog buttons.

What do you think? Mere coincidences? Am I making too much of this? I think not.

45 comments:

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

8. We're wearing the same pajamas.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

PS. Did you know that when you're sleeping you never drool? How do you do that?!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Where are you?! Open your blinds already!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Hi. Me again.

Just wanted to tell you that you're pretty.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Hey, don't you think it's about time for a trim? Because I need one and I can't get one until you do. Very inconsiderate of you.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You know what I was just thinking about?

You.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Hey! Blinds!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

God...thank you.

Ooh, what's that? Pancakes? I love pancakes!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You forgot to add the egg.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Hey. You forgot to add the egg.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Hold on, I'm calling you.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Why won't you answer your phone? I know your home. I CAN SEE YOU.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Fine. Those pancakes are going to taste terrible.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that you're so pretty and perfect.

Can I brush your hair?

kristen said...

at least your stalker is funny, smart AND pretty. mine was just a troll.

dude. i remember last year at blogher, i'm fully expecting the same this year.

PunditMom said...

If I don't see you both in the same place at the same time at BlogHer this year, I'll know something's up!

Janet said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

(Pssst: are you and Jenny the same person!? I just blew my own mind.)

Julie Pippert said...

It's funny how that all adds up that way. Then there's:

9. You're both funny.

I know! It's solid now---like a rock. I mean, what are the odds?

Mayberry said...

I think you need to be very concerned. She will stop at NOTHING.

thailandchani said...

If only I knew how to code those little blog buttons, I'd make one that says "I'm being stalked by The Bloggess and you're not" but thankfully I don't know how to code those little blog buttons.

Yeah... thankfully!

I'll have to check out the other blog now.

Kelley said...

LMAO - hilarious!

Kelley said...

LMAO - hilarious!

Madge said...

she's not going to come over here and take me down just for commenting on your blog is she?

jen said...

SEE! SEE! I knew it.

I felt something creepy this morning, and i did remember the egg, so whatever, your stalking skills could use some work.

oh, and you can totally brush my hair.

Magpie said...

Snort.

Velma said...

That is one quality stalker right there. Gotta get me one of those!

maggie, dammit said...

OHMYGOD, she was totally stalking me, too. She commented and commented and commented, and then she wrote an entire drooly blog post about how she wanted her blog to be just like mine when it grew up.

wait a sec.

I think it might have been exactly the other way around.

mamatulip said...

You are officially part of The Cool Club now.

mamatulip said...

(not like you weren't before or anything...oh god. I should shut up.)

lildb said...

the doppelganger of jen/jenny has officially killed me. I'm dead.

*croak*

p.s. is it even coincidencer that I spent Monday emailing you back and forth about my devotion to your stardusty beauty, and on Tuesday, I email-pinged Jenny regarding her glimmery loveliness?

because, I'm pretty sure that merits a spot on the list.

flutter said...

Dude, I have no jen/jenny/jennifer stalking going on whatsoever.

One time a guy named Dirk commented, but somehow I just don't think it's the same...

Blog Antagonist said...

Face it, dude, you? Are Stalkable. Who wouldn't want to go all Single White Female on you ass?

liv said...

jen, don't worry. i'm going to be in her town to throw down if necessary. you were my bitch first. but see how she's jumping ahead of you and trying to get together with me first? i'm betting it's to pump me for information about you. let me tell you, it WON'T work. maybe.

should i be scared? she's going to pick me up and allegedly take me to reconnoiter with julie pippert. does that sound plausible?

and do you know what? guy kawasaki started following me on twitter. do you suppose that's a coincidence??

fuck. i. are. scared.

cce said...

Yeah, I had Jack the blog troll for awhile but he was no Jenny. Did you sign up for the privilege or just earn it being so damn excellent?

Kyla said...

Oh God. I just love you two.

carrie said...

OMG, what I wouldn't give to be able to meet you both.

It just isn't fair.

ps. Jenny, I'll leave my blinds open for you - however, I cannot guarantee that I don't drool while sleeping but I'm damned good at making pancakes.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Carrie, would you be willing to wear the pajamas I sto...borrowed from Jen when she was in the shower this morning?

PS. Jen, I checked the refrigerator and you don't even HAVE any eggs. I'll bring some over tomorrow.

Luke said...

That's a great post. Here's a website on developing
photographic memory. Check out the tips that they offer. They worked pretty well for me. It's at http://www.photographic-memory.org

Gwen said...

That chick is weird, JEN. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a crotty old coot.

(great, one more person I will have to have "taken care of" to get to jen at Blogher).

Simply Jenn said...

Even more scary? Jenny sent me here to YOUR blog because I think she totally wants me to stalk you too.

Or... maybe all Jen/Jenny/Jenn's are the same person and we have to stalk each other to seem cool.

Or maybe there should be a Jen army so we can fight off any and all Jenemies.

Hmmmm, I need to sleep on this.

(P.S.- nice to meet you)

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Headless Mom said...

I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard!!

I guess it's a good thing I'm not going to be at BlogHer...I would have to buy Depends, or something.

Lawyer Mama said...

Babe, I'm making you a button. Tomorrow. Seriously.

Kristin said...

Now, I'm new here, but I'm a total follower, so now I'm stalking you too... in fact, we're meant to be because today I have a post about my friend Jenn... it's wild!

Arwen said...

And here I was worrying about telling you I was coming to your city because I didn't want to encroach on your space. I realize now that I I am going to have to push her off the couch to get some space as we flip through the 3 channels you get on your tv.