Thursday, November 20, 2008

jitterbug

Saying I'm slowly becoming totally freaked out is probably an understatement. I've never done anything so untraditional before, this move that makes most people go wide eyed is almost here. We are jumping off into something and as with any major change I've ever experienced in my life I'm settling into panic. How the hell will we do this?

There are so many things to do and most of them are unknown. I remind myself to breathe, that I am choosing this, but the 2am jitters have settled in.

I'm not writing much because I don't know what to say. Leaving my job, moving, resettling in a foreign place, all while the world seems to be crashing down around us and everyone else is hunkering down. We are either wildly courageous or ridiculously naive. Or both.

I think I need a hug.

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42 comments:

thailandchani said...

You are probably a bit of both.. but it's a Good Thing. Your life will be so much richer in the ways that count because of the choices you are making now.

Security is highly overrated.


~*

hypoglycemiagirl said...

virtual hugs sent your way!

It will be an excellent adventure I'm sure, but it's OK to worry!

meno said...

I look forward, very much, to the stories of how it all goes.

2 am is a bad time.

Lara said...

How often I've thought "I just need a hug" these past few days...Sending one to you now...
Change is growth. Without it we stagnate, and much too often our instincts tell us to hunker down when we should instead open up to what the Universe has for us. And much too often we follow those instincts when we shouldn't. There is truth in those opportunities that we miss when we don't look up. Remember: you are simply choosing to keep looking up, and there ARE beautiful things in store for your family.

TZT said...

More virtual hugs here!

I hate the 2 a.m. jitters, but I think they are exist for a reason - to help us hash out those details & get us ready for big leaps of faith.

It's going to be amazing. You're amazing.

P.S. If civilization as we know it collapses (Al Gore's suggestion), you and the Amish will undoubtedly be better off than the rest of us.

Blog Antagonist said...

I think you are one of the bravest people I know. I truly wish I had your courage. You will be living your dream. That's not something many people can say.

alejna said...

I'm sending you hugs!

Courage and naiveté seem like necessary ingredients for being a pioneer. I guess the harder part is figuring out the rest of the recipe.

But you guys will do it.

More hugs!

patches said...

Hug? like you have to ask..

(((jen)))

Defiantmuse said...

ok, plenty of hugs to come next weekend. and we'll also do our damndest to help you see how courageous you guys are being. I'll also ply you with wine and my tasty cinnamon rolls. They're like internal hugs.

xo

Magpie said...

But that I were near enough to give you a hug. Really.

ewe are here said...

Truthfully, I'd be worried if you weren't freaking out about the whole thing... because it's a major major major life change, and freaking out mean you're thinking about everything you're supposed to while you prepare.

Heck, I freaked out a bit when I headed off to Europe for a year and a half, with no final plans for which masters program or what would come next. And Europe is not much different from the US... but I still worried.

Gannon said...

grab a board

and ride the wave

home

Deezee said...

"I'm not writing much because I don't know what to say."

Well, I'd say that what you say in this post is exactly what you need to say. You're off on a wild journey, and the glorious thing is that whatever the outcome, you will never have to wilt and say you played it safe in this life.

I am terribly excited for you and want you to believe you were compelled in this direction for a reason.

Madge said...

((big big hugs))

Z said...

I hope you receive a lot of real ones - but here's another virtual (((hug))) from me xxx

Karen said...

I love ya, babe & I love what you are doing. And sometimes I'm up at 2am too, so I'll be sure to think of you then too (Though that'd be 5am here, but sadly sometimes I am awake then.)

Kyla said...

I know the 2am jitters well.

HUG!

Omaha Mama said...

I think you are brave. And that you'll come out of this with a heck of a book deal. To fund further forest adventures.

luckyzmom said...

What's the worst that could happen? Yes, you can!

KC said...

I so wish I could give you a hug in person right now.

Don Mills Diva said...

Sending a hug!

If it helps...you are doing something so many of us can only dream of... and I will be living vicariously through you every step of the way.

Ally said...

Jen, stay strong. You are jumping headlong into a dream that most of us think about but are too afraid to grab hold of. You are strong enough, brave enough, smart enough (and doggon it, people like you)...

Hugs, prayers, and good vibes coming your way from this Seattle couch.

Holly said...

Not that I'm any wealth of sage, learned advice, but the one thing I do know this that the things in my life that have been the best choices were always the result of taking the hardest path. The things that were easy didn't offer the same rewards.

Hang in there -- if it were easy, it wouldn't be such a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

flutter said...

((you))

I am almost done with your garden chart :)

motherbumper said...

Brave, you are brave and I so wish it was me but I'm really glad it's you because you will do it right. I'm sending lots of hugs your way.

jen said...

i love you guys. i feel so hugged.

thank you.

cinnamon gurl said...

Both, for sure. And it's great! 2 am jitters suck - HUGS to you!

Sober Briquette said...

{hug}

Gwen said...

Everything will be okay. Really.

Now here's your hug.

Amy Y said...

Dude. I'd be scared SHITless if I were you right now. I think you are one of the bravest people I've ever "met"... and I'm excited to live vicariously through you.

That said, I'm sending tons of hugs and sunshine your way... You'll do fine. I'm sure of it.

yertle said...

Sending a big hug. I am excited and inspired by your journey.

Holly said...

I tagged you. I know, I know. I already feel guilty about it. But there it is. I was under extreme pressure from The Big Kids. I promise I'll do better in the future.

http://www.coldspaghetti.org/blog/2008/11/21/do-not-read-while-drinking-grape-juice/

liv said...

4 words, my precious:

yoga retreat with booze.



(love you)

painted maypole said...

i wish I could give you a hug.

instead, let me say that I so admire what you are doing, which is so grounded in WHO you are the WHAT you believe in, so that no matter how this adventure turns out, it is sure to be worth having, and the right thing for you to have done.

wheelsonthebus said...

THinking of you and freaked out on your behalf.

Penny said...

((((((((((((Jen + 2)))))))))))))))

hele said...

I am hugging you so tight my sister.

Maggie, Dammit said...

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
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HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
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HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG

mamatulip said...

*hug*

and a *smooch* for good measure.

Angela said...

You are doing what is right for you and your family. Sending you good thoughts and warm hugs. Very close friends just made a major move to Costa Rica...we're visiting them in a few months, we can't wait to see them. If you get a minute, you might want to check out their website http://www.destinationconservation.ca/

Holly said...

Make sure you Google "stages of culture shock" before you go. It's a real, physical thing you go through, and it happens no matter how much you want to be in the new place. It helps if you know the stages so you can recognize them in yourself and know that you are moving through them, and that they will pass. Good luck!

Amanda said...

Hugging.