Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I've had a month post-employment to get my arms around this and somehow I have and have not come to terms with the going and not coming back in the foreseeable future. In a few short pre-dawn hours M and I will sleepily board a plane and then another plane, heading out of this country and into the belly of another, a steamier and greener faraway place where we'll be reunited with J, and two becomes three.
But see, that's just it. It's just us three. There. Three. Just.
I had lunch with some friends yesterday and they were commenting on our bravery, but the truth is I don't feel very brave. I feel sort of scared, see. It's just us. But then again it's us, and everyone I've yet to meet.
And then there's all of you.
One of the things that brings me comfort is all of you. You are all still here, in this one particular world our connection has always been across the miles or shores or continents, you don't particularly care where I live and it doesn't much matter. You, see. You are all still here. It doesn't matter where I go because I can still find you.
I took my final US shower, I stayed in way too long and turned the water up way too hot. This is my last familiar shower for the longest time, the one there is tepid at best and the water pressure is terrible. It's easy to take a good shower for granted until it's gone. It's like a bad Whitesnake song, showers.
I wanted to throw myself a goodbye party but time ran away from me, so perhaps I'll throw myself a housewarming party instead. You know, the kind where you tell me the one thing you'd bring to the jungle, the one thing you could not possibly live without. It needs to be funny, though. No time for sentimental I'd miss my family and friends bullshit, because see, we already know this is what we'll miss. Plus, it'll make me feel a little less freaked out. I can use a little less freaked out right now.
The next time you hear from me I'll be there, how and when I'll be able to connect remains a mystery but hopefully it won't be too long.
Here's to the beginning of adventure, of our long awaited journey. Here's to the leaping off and hopefully not falling too far.
Here's to yes. Here's to yes. Here's to yes.
And we are off.