Sunday, May 03, 2009

sitting on dandelions

The traffic was terrible and you just knew that whatever lay ahead wasn't good.  It wasn't the right time of day for hundreds of cars sitting like a parking lot.  After awhile the glimpses of red flashing lights were visible, after a while longer you could see them spinning around inside their globes.  As we are inching by I am always caught in that wrestling move, the one that tries to get me to turn my head while the rest of my body screams don't look you don't need to look it's someone's most tragic moment and it's not for you to stare and yet I see her anyways, I see her and I see her mangled bike and a couple of wrecked cars and then I notice she doesn't have on any shoes.  

I send a silent prayer for grace and hope and healing as the line moved forward and I look in the rearview mirror at my child, she's holding her little stuffed kitty and singing to herself and I look around at the other cars flying past me and each one is an entire life captured in a bubble going places to be with people they love or people they don't but either way it's so entirely fragile and we take for granted never really knowing if we are going to make it to our destination or hell, if we'll wake up in the morning and then I think of all the squandered days, days spent feeling sorry for myself or not showing up or lacking in discipline and I ask the Divine for a do-over, a chance to do it right this time, hit me baby one more time.

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13 comments:

Ally said...

Good grief, Jen, how do you pack so much into so few words. We've all experienced this moment on the freeway, the halting traffic, the prayer sent upward, the gratitude and regret and quick check in the rearview mirror at our most precious things.

Ms. H said...

Well said.

Jenny said...

De-lurking to say thank you for the reminder.

de said...

The funny thing about life is that most of us do receive a lot of opportunities for the do-over, but even so, when our number is up, all that unravelled time spools up tighter than an ungerminated seed. How can it be both at once?

Kim said...

goose pimples....

QT said...

Oh boy. One of my favorite quotes lately is -"You'd better live everyday like its your last day 'cause one day you're gonna be right."

Thanks for the reminder.

painted maypole said...

oh. yes.

btw - I've cast you in a little play over at my place

Kim said...

Also, I forgot to say earlier, but thanks for stopping by my blog.

You are so busy, and I changed locations (and you knew me by a different name), but none the less, you were there. Thanks.

Tabba said...

wow, woman. holy wow.

Madge said...

i always feel sense of guilt and thankfulness it wasn't my family or someone i love in the accident. and then try and fight back the question -- when will it be?

alejna said...

You are so good at capturing a moment, Jen.

I'm glad M wasn't looking.

hele said...

i think you are doing it so right already.

Rachael said...

What an amazing piece of writing. You captured the moment so well.