Thursday, May 07, 2009
I'm probably hovering at 38,000 feet right now as you read this, or wading through the Houston airport accidentally breathing in swine flu germs or perhaps just perhaps cracking that first jungle beer but I couldn't leave the US of A without sharing a story with you to ponder whilst I'm en route. So sit back and relax and at the end I'll be asking for your opinion.
J and I are at a Dodger game with two friends. It's maybe the 4th inning, we are in fairly decent seats (friends with money treated us to the game) and we are enjoying our first beer. The crowd is raucous, it's obviously that this section has some very dedicated fans who whoop it up every time something good happens. It's good fun and everyone seems friendly. We are here at the 4th inning because traffic was so bad (yes LA you have bad traffic you bad city you bad traffic city you) that it took us this long to get here and then to find the beer. But it's okay because on the way we were listening to New Order and you know, I haven't listened to New Order since I was a wee wisp of a thing, and now I'm old. So it was quite a reunion me and New Order. But I digress.
Sitting in the stadium on the first base line, I can see the field and the night is clear. I smell hotdogs and everyone is wearing blue. Directly in front of us is a couple that I might rather generously describe as rednecky. The dude is affable and loud, the woman seems to be enjoying herself. They are sitting close but then again we are all sitting close packed into stadium seating. He jumps up and screams every time something good happens for his team which happens a lot.
And then it happens.
All of a sudden and without provocation a peanut shell lands on my hand.
I glance down and see it and a few more shells on the aforementioned affable yet rednecky gentleman in front of me. Almost unthinkingly I reach down to brush off the shells on his back when all of a sudden his lady friend whirls around (think the chick from Exorcism) and grabs my hand and squeezes it hard. Hard. And right before I even make contact with the said shells. As she squeezes it she says Don't you touch him and then lets go of my hand and turns back around. I see her gentleman friend nudge her but he doesn't look back. J's watching the game and misses the entire thing.
Needless to say I am speechless. She then proceeds to turn around and glance at me every 12 minutes or so for the rest of the game. Just in case. But in case of what?
Lacking closure and slightly afraid of the crazy chick in front of me I am unable to find resolution and am left to wonder what could have possibly been going through her mind and what would cause a person to react like that. So I've come to you for help.
Is it that she:
1. Was terribly insecure and thought I was hitting on her aging rednecky gentleman caller even as I sat with a male friend of my own?
2. Has eyes on the back of her head implanted there by the CIA for purposes of looking over her shoulder to thwart evil at large scale sporting events?
3. Thought the peanut shells added a little sexy something to his ensemble?
4. Thought I was an alien invader looking to suck the blood of a strapping young buck and feared for her very life?
5. Thought I looked like his 2nd ex-wife, the one he can't get over and still calls on Fridays after too many beers?
6. Fill in the blank
Or was I simply wrong for somewhat absentmindedly invading another person's personal space, space that is on short order at a sporting event of this kind? I realize that is probably the right answer but her response was well over the top for such a minor offense.
Or was it?
See you on the flip side (from down under and why do they only say that about Australia anyways?).